The Church Requel leadership team has begun a great tradition. We meet once a month to take care of the business of the church and then we meet again each month for fellowship, for the sheer joy of getting to know one another better. Wednesday evening we enjoyed some fun together at the Old Bag of Nails. We celebrated St. Patrick's Day with a great meal and listened to the music of Dr. Simple. We invited our worship leader, Nate Williams, to join us.
Afterward we all came over to our home and sat together in our living room. We talked about possible plans for a youth ministry at Church Requel. Nate has had some experience working with youth in a former church he attended. We heard from Nate of his own passion for teenagers and his desire to help them make good decisions. When Nate is not leading worship for us at Church Requel, he gives guitar lessons at Metronome Music Store. Most of his students are teenagers.
We had discussed several different scenarios for a youth ministry at Church Requel over the course of an hour. It was close to 9PM when I asked Nate to tell us his own story of how he came to faith. Nate and I had talked about this before, but the other fellows on our leadership team had not heard Nate's journey of faith. And, as I was soon to learn, I had not heard all the story myself.
For the next 90 minutes Nate talked to us. And I must say, his story told to us in his own words was better than most movies I've seen. I kept thinking to myself that it was getting really late. Mark Shaw has to get up really early. I knew he was tired. I wondered if I should stop Nate from sharing. When I asked Nate to tell us, I had a fifteen-minute answer in mind, not an hour and a half. But, on the other hand, I really wanted to hear Nate's whole account. And Nate was really enjoying telling his story. Also, I knew that not only was I growing closer to Nate, but so were all the other leaders sitting around my living room. I'm glad Nate took his time. Sunday evening, when we come to Church Requel to worship together and I watch Nate take his place in front of our congregation, I'll be lifting up a prayer of thanksgiving for the way God has brought Nate to this place.
I've been doing a lot of thinking over the past day about what happened Wednesday night. I've concluded that we don't ask people often enough to tell their stories. We see people in our lives and we know them only as far as it relates to our common experience. But to really know someone, we have to know his or her story. And to know that, we have to do two things. First, we have to ask. Second, we have to be prepared to listen. Really listen. And that takes time. And safety. People won't tell their real stories unless they know they can trust the listener.
As a pastor I need to know the stories of the people in my congregation. To know their stories, to really understand each one of them, I need to listen well to their recollection of their God journey thus far. For some folks this would be a naturally easy thing to do. But some of us, and I'm including myself in this category, are more naturally inclined to the task than to the person. It seems like there's always a job to be done. I need to learn to set aside the job for the person. Wednesday night the job to be done was ending the meeting on time. I'm glad for all our sakes I resisted my internal task master and listened to Nate tell his story.
So how can I remember this listening lesson? It's not something I can put on my "to-do" list and check off. We task-oriented folks like it that way, you know. "Listen to person tell his story. Do that once per day until each person has been listened to. Check off that box. Move on to next assignment." No, I think I just need to be open to setting aside my tasks for the day when the opportunity presents itself. Still, I need a way to remember. Hm-mm.... maybe I could start carrying around a bag of microwave popcorn. Then the next time someone wants to talk, I'll get out the bag, pop the corn, and settle in to listen. Popcorn anyone?
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