Thirty-one years ago today, Mary Kay and I were married in Celina, Ohio. We began dating on Memorial Day, 1978 with a canoe ride down the Mohican River. We were engaged in January 1979 on the snowy bank of that same Mohican. It didn't take me long to recognize the best person who had ever come into my life. Over the past 31 years, nothing has changed in that category - except that I have an even greater appreciation for just how fortunate we both have been to find a lifelong love.
Meanwhile almost everything else about our lives have changed. My career began in personal finance as a stockbroker and Certified Financial Planner. Now I'm a pastor of a new church. Mary Kay began her career as a registered nurse working in a hospital environment. For the last ten years she has used her nursing education and her personal background to become the director of the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill in Richland County. Neither one of us could have foreseen where our career paths would take us back in 1979.
Nor would we have guessed that we would have been so blessed with children and grandchildren. Four children and (at the moment) six grandchildren later, our lives are immersed in family events. Neither of us would have it any other way.
But that is a far cry from how things started out 31 years ago. Mary Kay had a year of schooling to finish when we were married. She (like me) attended the University of Akron. But my first job working as an Account Executive for Merrill Lynch brought me to Mansfield during the year she finished her education. So she lived in our apartment in Akron while I rented a room in Mansfield. We lived for the weekends up in Akron! Every weekend was like another honeymoon. I guess it's not too surprising, then, that when Mary Kay actually walked down the graduation aisle to receive her nursing degree that she brought within her our as-yet-unborn Jennifer!
The many years since have been filled mostly with happy moments. We made the decision early on to invest in a twenty-six foot motorhome. We decided that we wanted to travel all over the U.S. with our children while they were young. From 1986 until 1999 (when Jennifer started college) we traveled to 44 of the 50 states. These cross country trips form some of our happiest memories. I still laugh to myself how helpful Jonathan was as a youngster helping set up camp everywhere we went. Then there's the time that Jessica tripped over the dog leash and had to be rushed to the Salina KS hospital for stitches in her forehead. Or the three-week family trip to Seattle to visit our Aunt Helen one last time before her death. Or the night lights high up in Canada. Or the overwhelming August heat in Arizona. Or the vacation when I drove with a cast on my leg. Or the time Mary Kay thought we would fall off a cliff at Mount Rushmore.
Even the poorer moments were mostly happy moments. There were a few years when we started Pierce Financial Planning that our own personal finances were pretty tight. We managed to hold on to the motorhome, but only had an old van for the "around town" travel. I remember once when the van broke down and for a few weeks we actually dropped the kids off at school using the motorhome. Both of the oldest children learned to drive in that old van. Jennifer used duct tape to spell out "JEN" on the side of the van. Jonathan changed the "E" to an "O" to spell "JON" when he started driving. I resorted to riding my bicycle most of the time. But we never missed a meal and eventually Pierce Financial Planning took off, providing the financial means for four college educations and, so far, three weddings.
Our lives have sometimes been touched with tragedy, as is true of anyone who have spent a lifetime together. I still remember the morning I had to walk into Raintree, where Mary Kay was working as a nurse, to tell her that her father had suddenly and unexpectedly died the night before. And Mary Kay was at my side six years ago when my mom lost her long battle with cancer. Both of us have been changed forever by the struggle Mary's brother has had with schizophrenia. Somehow, though, through the difficulties and struggles, we have discovered the joy of our love for one another - a quiet support and encouragement that reminds us that our relationship is for better and for worse, for richer or for poorer.
Today we are learning to enjoy our new "empty nest" lives, when we fluctuate from some days when our home is filled with children, spouses, grandchildren and friends to other days when it's just the two of us. I have no idea what the next few years will bring our way. But I do know that there is no one I would rather face the future with than with Mary Kay. Certainly our love is not perfect (whose is?), but I can't think of anyone who has been more gracious and forgiving of my own faults and failings than Mary Kay. Loving her and experiencing her love for me has been a wonderful experience. Thanks Mary Kay for a great life together. I'm looking forward to our anniversary dinner tonight, when I think we should toast to the next 31 years!
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