Every week I publish my sermon notes so that you may read them for yourselves. For my parishioners, this could be a good review from the weekend before. And it gives you a chance to see what I intended to say! For other pastors and ministers, feel free to borrow and use any of this material. I'd love for God to be glorified by you incorporating these notes into your own worship.
Want to listen as you read? Here's the audio from Sunday:
Defending the Offense Audio Sermon
Sunday Night Football Part 2: Defending the Offense 09.25.11
Scripture: Matthew 18:15-17 ESV
Video: “Pastor Mark on Defense” [1:30]
Intro: In football, defense is always response. The offense runs a play and the defense responds. However, the D always has plays of its own. Sometimes its geared up for the pass play. Sometimes - like on the goal line - the D puts a bunch of lineman to defend against the run.
Today we’re going to learn about 4 defensive plays that Jesus taught us in Matthew 18. These 4 plays should be learned by every Christ-follower. What do you do when someone wrongs you?
Our Christian bookshelves are filled with relationship advice. In three little verses Jesus lays down our strategy for handling conflicts and confrontations. Just like in football, consider these 4 plays as the 4 downs. There’s a proper order to this. First things first!
But before we get to the 4 defensive plays, we need to know the objective of our D. The football defense always wants to get the ball back for its offense - preferably without the offense scoring any points!
Objective of our Christian Defense: _RESTORATION_.
This is so important. We can miss this point if not reminded. When we are in a battle with another Christ-follower, when they’ve wronged us in some way - Our goal is NOT to prove we are right and they are wrong. Our objective is to find common ground, our aim is restoration.
“Aim for restoration, comfort one another, agree with one another, live in peace.” 2 Corinthians 13:11 ESV
This is so different than we are accustomed to thinking. There is a very natural instinct within us when we are hurt to hurt back. We want someone else to feel the same pain they have caused us. However we are instructed that we should restore GENTLY!
Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Galatians 6:1 ESV
Gently doesn’t mean weakly. Rather it’s power under control. It’s power from the Holy Spirit Himself - beyond our human instincts. That’s why there is the double reference to “spirit.” Those who are spiritual are those who are well connected to God’s Spirit and allow Him control when we would otherwise be out of control.
All too often we’re ready to write someone off who has betrayed us. However our objective in restoration is always to bring them back.
My dear friends, if you know people who have wandered off from God’s truth, don’t write them off. Go after them. Get them back. James 5:19 MSG
Remember this as we work our way through these 4 defensive plays. Just like the defense in football wants to get the ball back, our objective is always to get our brother or our sister back. Our goal - even when we separate - is to restore back to a relationship of love with God and with one another. This isn’t easy. That’s why Jesus clearly laid out this 4-step, or 4-down scenario. Let’s look at each closely.
First Down: ___ONE ON ONE___
Our first response, our first defense, is to go alone and try to work out whatever the problem is that’s come between us.
15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.” Matthew 18:15 ESV
Football is known for it’s chalkboard diagrams... the X’s and the O’s. Let’s break down this 1st down defense - our first response... and the one that should resolve and restore 2/3 of all our conflicts if done right.
Let’s Diagram This Defense:
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Fellow Believer - Our response within the church. That’s not to say we couldn’t follow this outside the church with other nonbelievers. But that’s not what Jesus is addressing here. And, BTW, let’s not be parochial. Not just CR. More catholic / universal. How we deal with any other believer - even if attends another church.
- Sin - not just offense, dislike, or disfavor. Sometimes we just don’t like someone else. Or we don’t like how they’ve handled something. They just rub us the wrong way. The issue here is “sin.” What have they done that is a “sin?”
- Personal - must be “against you.” How has this hurt you? This is not our invitation to watch everyone else to see if we can catch them in something wrong.
- Initiative - don’t wait for him. You go. All too many times issues are not resolved because no one is willing to take the first step. Don’t let your pride get in the way. Don’t wait for someone else to take the first step of apology. The reality is that they may not even know that they have caused you grief, yet you are grieving. Go!
- Private - “just between the two of you.” NIV The first play - and the one that will resolve 2/3s of conflicts - is the one that only involves the two of you. Humility is necessary. Gentleness. Attitude of restoration. Privacy. “I want to work this out with you. I love you.”
- Restoration - “gained a brother.” ESV The goal, the objective. Not I’m right and you’re wrong. I may discover in this one-on-one play that I’ve got some things to apologize for also. Rare that only one person is completely at fault.
Sometimes - not most of the time - this first down play won’t work. When it doesn’t, Jesus gives us the next defense...
Second Down: ___ONE OR TWO OTHERS___
We’re not looking for an army of folks... just one or two others.
16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.” Matthew 18:16 ESV
Doesn’t mean we tell enough people to then find one or two to agree with me and then take them. Ideally I’m just looking for witnesses. I’m one of the witnesses. one or two more. Fewer the better. Not a prosecution. Still on the objective of restoration. With some neutral parties involved, could be resolved and go no further.
15 Do not regard him as an enemy, but warn him as a brother. 2 Thess. 3:15 ESV
Also - I could be the one that is found in the wrong. Usually both have some wrong. Am I open to hearing from the witnesses about my own error?
Third Down: ___INVOLVE THE CHURCH___
At this point, we are beyond what individuals can do. We need the authority of the church itself:
17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. Matthew 18:17a ESV
Doesn’t have to mean EVERYONE in the church. Typically church would mean church leadership. Broader group that just one or two, but still guarding against antagonism and disagreement; looking for best avenue to reconciliation and agreement. Fewer in the loop the easier to get to understanding. We see the pattern - defense starts as one, then two or three, then church leadership, but eventually the whole church. Why?
Fourth Down - Punt: ___TREAT AS AN OUTSIDER___
What if even the church fails to restore? Jesus tells us that there comes a point when we must acknowledge this person as “outsider.”
“And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.” Matthew 18:17b ESV
Illustration: The punt is one of the most unique plays in football. The defense starts off without the ball, but knows that before the play is over they will become the offense. They will receive the ball. Their job will be half defense and half offense. Start off keeping the other team from advancing the ball, but then receive the ball and begin advancing it on their own. The offense punts and then becomes the defense. It’s a change of possession. Same here. We now treat this person from within the church as if he were outside it. As if he were a Gentile, a tax-collector. When Jesus said this to his Jewish followers, they heard “outsiders.”
Key Question: How did Jesus tell his followers to treat Gentiles and tax collectors? He loved them. Matthew (whose name is on this Gospel) was a tax collector before he was a disciple! This was Jesus’ goal:
For the Son of Man came to find and restore the lost.” Luke 19:10 MSG
Jesus was accused by his opponents as being
“a friend of tax collectors and sinners.” Matthew 11:19 / Luke 7:34 ESV
The tax collectors and sinners were all drawing near to hear him. 2 And the Pharisees and the scribes grumbled, saying, “This man receives sinners and eats with them.” Luke 15:1-2 ESV
Eventually the person who has failed to respond at every level on every down is treated as an outsider, because he or she has become an outsider. The intimate relationship of loving Christ-follower to loving Christ-follower has been broken. Can they still come to church? Yes! Still hear the gospel? Yes! But the beauty of the fellowship with one another is not there as it once was. The intent is for this gulf, this break in fellowship to drive them back to wanting restoration themselves.
Conclusion: Where is there a broken relationship with a Christian brother or sister that needs to be restored? Have you followed the game plan so clearly laid out by Christ? Illustration: We don’t know how it will turn out. Uncertain. We may not like. That’s D! Let’s run the play the way Jesus designed it. We respond in the right way. Let’s pray together!
