Church Requel Blog - Writings of Mark Pierce

Pastors, Here Are 3 Ways To Go 'Thrifting' For People

My baby daughter, a beautiful and fashionable 23-year-old, introduced me to a new (to me) verb this year: "thrifting." She loves to "go thrifting." By this she means going to thrift stores and second-hand clothing stores to find treasures. Now I too love to go thrifting. The other day I found a beautiful sport coat that fit me as if it were made just for me. Not only did it fit perfectly, but it was made of the finest wool and was a beautiful blue pattern that I had not seen in any other store. In short, it was a treasure. The price? $4.99.

This got me to think about my church, Church Requel, and the job that we pastors, I believe, are called to do. One of our most important jobs as leaders of local churches is to go thrifting for people: to find value in people that they and others don't see. After all, this is what God Himself does.  He sees the value in us that even we don't see or that we forget about.  When Jesus gave his famous Sermon on the Mount, he assured his listeners about how much God values their lives:

"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" Matthew 2:26

The constant reminder of the Scriptures is how much God sees the true soul of each man and woman, not the outward appearance that most of us put so much stock in.  Yet as pastors, it's easy to fall into the trap of looking more at what is stored away in barns. James 2:1-7 is especially poignant for us pastors to be looking for those "rich in faith" even if poor in other ways. 

How should pastors "go thrifting" for people?  Here are 3 practical ways I work to see people as God sees them:

1. Work hard on remembering names. People love hearing their own name, especially when it comes from the lips of their pastor. Certainly small church pastors have an advantage over their larger church brethren. However, having served in both a very large church (more than 2,000 people) and now a very small church, I find this is more a matter of attitude on the part of the pastor than anything else. When I meet someone for the first time, I ask them their name - and here's the key - I really listen to what they tell me. So often we ask someone's name as a matter of politeness, but then we just as quickly forget. I listen and then, as often as I can in the next few sentences, I repeat their name back to them. I do this not just to be nice to the new person. It's because I really want to remember. Nothing helps the memory more than me hearing myself say something out loud. We remember more through our ears than our eyes! Then, when I get away to myself, I write down the name in my smart phone contact program along with tidbits of the conversation. This also helps with my memory and gives me something to refer back to again. Finally, when I see them again I try to repeat their name quickly, but if I don't recall - which happens often - I've learned not to fake it. Here's something else I've learned to say: "I'm really sorry. What's your name again? I really want to know." After the person tells me their name again I'll say: "In baseball the batter gets three strikes. That's my first strike. Will you give me three strikes before I'm out?" We'll usually laugh together. People are most forgiving when they know you are sincere.

12 Reasons I Love My Job Of Pastor

Almost 30 years ago Mary Kay and I heard Zig Ziglar tell the story of the woman who hated her job. She came to Zig to complain about all her troubles with her employer. Zig asked if there was anything she liked about her job. She said, "I don't like anything about it." He asked if they paid her or if she did if for free. She admitted they not only paid her, but paid her a little better than average. Over the course of 10 minutes - with Zig's help - she found 22 different things she liked about her job. Newly aware of her reasons for liking her job, she discovered that some of the people around her seemed to change for the better!

That story has always stuck with me. My attitude about my work is so critically important. And if I may say so, this is even more critically important for the job of pastor!  Almost a year ago Lifeway Research conducted a poll of 1,000 protestant pastors in the U.S. Even though 98% of them considered it a privilege to be a pastor, more than half (55%) also agreed that it is easy to become discouraged. Coinciding with discouragement, the same 55% agreed that they felt lonely.

Earlier this week - in an excellent article on Pastors.com - Thom Rainer reminded his readers of the discouragement and loneliness of pastors with the admonition for congregations to pray for their pastors.  Church Requel, will you please continuously and intentionally pray for me? Seriously. 

The fascinating truth of Lifeway Research's survey results is the dichotomy between the 98% of pastors who feel privileged and the 55% who feel lonely and discouraged.  Thom Rainer's seven reasons for WHY so many of us pastors are lonely and discouraged is right on.  If I thought about it for just a few minutes, I'm sure I could easily add to the list of negatives pastors face on a daily basis.

I'd like to add just one key reason that underlies all my discouragement.  I forget.  I forget the privilege. I forget why I became a pastor. Our profession, more than most, is a profession of calling and of choice. God calls us. We choose to answer.

Six Discipleship Observations From Pastor Learning OTJ

I've been reading much lately on Pastors.com about pastors making disciples.  I think I could read these articles and others like them repeatedly and still not get all the wisdom I need about this important topic.  The message I've been thinking (or perhaps God has been saying to me?) is that 'Yes, preaching is important. But most of your disciple making does not take place in the pulpit!' If you are a preaching pastor of a small church like I am, THAT message hits home in a big way.  

Maybe your seminary experience was completely different from mine, but I don't recall a lot of "disciple making" type of classes. I learned lots about the Bible and the correct means of interpretation (and how to document well in my footnotes.) Few parishioners have asked to read my sermons. None have ever asked to examine my footnotes!  What I've learned about disciple making has come mostly by trial and error.  Here are a few observations from a pastor also learning discipleship OTJ (on the job.)

1. Disciple making is not about knowing the right stuff. It's not about a classroom experience at all. It's about where the rubber meets the road in real life. It's about sharing the experiences of the good and the bad of ministry... and life.  

2. There are no disciple tests at the end of the semester. There are tests - but they're different than what we had in school.  Who are the people I'm discipling? If I can't answer that one, I've failed the test. How are they changing as a result of the mentoring/discipleship training? Do we both see growth and more dependence upon Christ's strength now than six months ago?  Who are they mentoring? If we can't answer these last 3 questions well, then we've both failed the test.

3. There is a mix of skill sets training and lifestyle examples involved. Doing life together is a necessary component of discipleship training.  Jesus' disciples hung out with him. Those who Paul was mentoring traveled with him. Class didn't start and end with a bell ringing.  Every week I make time - usually around meals - to just hang out and talk with individuals and groups. Sometimes we have an agenda for me to teach or train a skill.  Watch me.  Here's how I do it. Now you try.  Many other times, though, it's much more fluid. There's no agenda, but there are always teaching moments.

Becoming a "Child-Friendly" Small Church

Multi-generational relationships in small church: Dick and Grayden are fast friends even though their age is 6 decades apart!

What does it mean to have a "child-friendly" small church? Beyond keeping children safe and sound - the most basic and important requirement - what can we do as small church pastors to make church a place where kids want to come and where parents want to bring their children?

Yesterday I had the privilege of interacting over email with Ian Forest-Jones, who was born in Canada and now serves as a pastor in Australia.  Ian contacted me about the blog post I wrote in June called, "4 Guidelines to Great Children's Sermons."  Ian wanted to know more about what I thought child-friendly churches meant.  Here were his questions:

I noticed in the article that you stated that your evening service is "child friendly", so I want to ask you a couple of questions about this, as this topic is very dear to my heart. Besides a children's sermon, what else do you do in/to the service to make it child-friendly?  I have long struggled to imagine what a real multi-generational church service would look like.  Personally, I am disgusted by the "children's segments" I see in too many churches, as they are often little more than parading the kids up front to set them up to say stupid things to make the adults laugh.  I want to provide a service that the whole family can enjoy and worship in together. 

I considered my response to his thoughtful questions. I ended up writing a long email back.  I thought my Church Requel readers might also be interested in my answer:

Dear Ian,

Thanks for your encouraging and thoughtful email.  It's not every day that I hear from a pastor born in Canada and living for Christ in Australia!

The most important thing we do - I think - is simply to recognize each child for the individual he or she is. Each one is loved by God just as is the case for any adult.  Each child has their own issues, their own questions, their own doubts.  I attempt to be a pastor to each one as much as I would be to the adults. When I see them in the hallways I get down on my knees to their level so I can look them in the eyes and talk to them.  I try to remember their names and what they like to do outside of church.  

4 Downsides of the Perfectionist Pastor

I make my bed in the morning. I eat breakfast. I color coordinate my clothes closet. And yes, I write my sermons three to four weeks in advance. I admit it. I am a perfectionist. I was raised to believe that if I would be tough on myself, then the world wouldn't be so tough on me. I'm most grateful for parents who taught me to value discipline.

Lately though, I've come to realize certain downsides to what I affectionately name as disciplines and what others might better describe as my perfectionistic tendencies. I have particularly noticed these downsides when I think about some of my personal pastor friends. I meet regularly with some guys who are off the charts in the opposite direction. To suggest that they are not organized is to do serious damage to the term "organized." (I don't even want to think about what their beds look like!)

Here's the thing. They have fantastic ministries! They are reaching men, women and children for Christ. Despite their disorganized, scatter-brained outward appearances, they are incredibly effective. They have solid relationships. When I'm out to breakfast or lunch with them, they are like people magnets.

Don't get me wrong. I'm grateful for my discipline. But it's worth being aware that there are at least 4 perfectionistic downsides of which I need to be aware.

Downside #1: Less Dependency On Christ. Those who are the weakest tend most to rely on Christ's strength. The opposite is also true. No amount of personal discipline is worth more to me than the power of Christ to work in and through me. My disciplines must always point me outward to God and to the people He wants me to reach. Otherwise it's totally, completely wasted. Am I more dependent on my disciplines or entirely dependent upon Christ?

Downside #2: Relational Walls. Who wants to hang out with the straight A student except around exam time? Remember the kid in the class who raised the grade curve? Not exactly a people magnet. My good pastor friends mentioned above make no secret that they are broken pieces saved by grace in need of God and other broken pieces. People love them because they make fun of themselves, and at the same time, make much of Christ. Who do I make much of? (I probably totally ruin the impact of this by my frustration that I ended that last sentence with a preposition.)

Leadership Through A Team Of Leaders

I met with our leadership team last evening.  For several weeks I've struggled with a potential shift in direction.  In my prayer life I have experienced God's leading, His gentle nudging of my soul as I've watched Him work in our small church.  How should I respond?  What direction should I go?

Normally my leadership style is that once I believe I know where God is leading me, I take the goals and plans to our leadership team for their confirmation.  I try to do as much of the work in advance as I can, thinking through problems and coming up with solutions.  However this time I not only felt God's urging to consider the opportunity, I also experienced His check to trust my leadership team to help me through the planning stage.

So I wrote down as much of my thinking as I could along with different alternatives and emailed the whole package out ahead of time to my leadership team.  I asked them to read and pray about what I wrote.  I asked them to come to the meeting with input and suggestions.  They responded beautifully last night.  We don't have everything figured out.  Next month we'll talk some more.  But I have direction for what I need to do now and for the next few months.  Because of this, I start my day today with confidence and energy.

Leading a leadership team requires a certain balance that does not come to me automatically.  Like a teeter totter it would be easy for the team to become grounded on one extreme or the other.  One one hand I could come up with everything myself and expect nothing more than the rubber stamp of approval.  My team would not really be leading, but confirming my direction.  Our church would be weaker because the leaders really wouldn't be developing their own leadership skills.

Pastoring Children Brings Me Great Joy

I've been going through a metamorphosis.  I've never considered myself to be a children's teacher.  On the other hand almost all of my adult life, I've been an adult teacher of one kind or another.  Before I became a full-time pastor, I taught adult Sunday School - usually young married couples - for two decades. Then I taught a larger group of men on Saturday mornings.  When I made the decision to become a church planter 3 years ago I was sure that the group I would most attract would be adults.

I'm so glad that God is not impressed with my resume. This year He has been bringing children to Church Requel. For sure, there usually are adults connected with them somehow. Without any question the fastest growing demographic in our small church are elementary age children.  And I'm thrilled!

This past weekend we invited our children to read the story of David and Goliath from 1 Samuel 17. One of our parishioners, Diana, took some great photos and posted them up on Facebook last night. (I'm pretty sure you need to have a Facebook account to see them.  We hope to have them on our public website soon. UPDATE: The photos are now also on our public website here.)  The picture above is one of those pictures from Sunday night, when I had the privilege to talk with our kids afterward.

That brief conversation has stuck with me.  I asked the kids what they learned from the story.  Little Cohen with all the pre-Kindergarten wisdom he could muster said, "God is bigger than anybody!" Anna wondered if it really was appropriate to talk about such violent stories in church as she pointed to the verse where David cut off Goliath's head.

When I was a kid, I took for granted being in church Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wednesday night.  Sunday School was an automatic. Then there was Bible Quizzing and Awana.  While I've never thought much about it before, all of those experiences have a lot more to do with me now being a pastor than any of my seminary training.

When I then think of today's kids, including my own grandchildren, I'm wondering what the next generation of Christians will grow up to become.  Seated in my small congregation could be one of the next great pastors.  Perhaps Church Requel is not so much about my ministry as it is about the next generation's ministry.  Another way of thinking about it is this: Maybe my ministry is about training them for their ministry.

I know this is true for all of my congregation, adults included.  All year, though, I've been reminded about the brutal honesty of children.  They have the same questions about God and the spiritual life as everyone else, but they haven't yet been trained to ask only polite and acceptable questions.  This is the time to reach them.  This is the moment to answer questions - while they're asking!

I don't know exactly what God is calling me to do about this.  I do know this - I need to do more for our kids than what we're doing now.  I also know one other thing.  This is not something that I can just assign to someone else and check off "children's ministry" from the list.  I know I can't accomplish it alone.  We will need a team.  But that team will have to include me.  

I want the kids who grow up at Church Requel to know that they had access to their pastor.  I want them to grow up knowing that their faith was as important as more important than soccer and music lessons.  I want there to be a time in my weekly schedule when I can interact with our children, teaching them, modeling the Christian life to them, sharing life with them, knowing them.  

This is the real change.  The big change is not what God has been doing to bring children to CR.  The big change is the what God has been doing in my heart to love our children and see them for who they are - individual souls with their own need of our Lord and Savior.  The big change in me is that I no longer see our children as the church of tomorrow, but as the church of today!

When Workplace And Church Meet - Slow Down, Relax, Smile

This past Sunday I worshipped with my friends, Roc and Kim. Attending another church with friends is a rare and welcomed opportunity for this pastor. I tried to leave my pastor's hat behind. I really did. I wanted to worship, not analyze.

The first thing I saw, however, when entering this large, 3,000-member church, was a young woman running down the hallway. She wore the name tag of officialness and was focused on the urgent problem of elsewhere as she rushed by. I don't know exactly what was going on, but I completely understood her general situation. She was working where I was worshipping.

The problem. I have been where that woman was so many times. People forget that their church happens to also be where I work. I'm sure they might also be hurried and hassled sometimes at their place of employment. What would their face look like when I walked into their workplace? What would their pace be like as I casually strolled by? The problem of church goers and workers mixing is not a problem of the worshiper forgetting that this is where I work. It IS a problem of me forgetting that my workplace is where they come to worship... and adjusting my face and my pace accordingly.

Just doing my job. Perhaps you are like me. You are just more naturally task oriented. You like getting the job done. It just so happens that our job is people and they are not cogs in a wheel. They expect a smile, a friendly greeting, a handshake, a pat on the back. And when you and I rush by because of a work-related issue, some people will take offense. Even the most charitable parishioner will wonder what's wrong.

7 Olympic Inspirations For Pastors

The 2012 Olympic Games are now finished. Mary Kay and I were two of the 210 million Americans who watched on NBC. We watched together every night and are now wondering what else we ever did with the television in August. Last Sunday morning at breakfast I reflected on the previous two weeks and came up with the following 7 inspirations for pastors. I'm sure these encouragements would be good for any profession, but since I'm a pastor I will write for my brothers and sisters in ministry.

Olympic Inspiration #1: The little changes make the BIG difference. These top notch athletes in every field were no longer working on getting the basics down pat. The elite do whatever they do so often and so well that the difference between the winners and the rest are the small, little things. These subtle differences are neither easy to know about nor easy to execute. I'm wondering what are the little things in my own pastoral ministry that could take me to the next level of effectiveness?

Olympic Inspiration #2: Even individual winners have a coach and a team. None of the celebrated gold medalists accomplish their feat of athletic leadership by themselves. The most medaled Michael Phelps has Bob Bowman. America's newest gymnast sweetheart, Gabby Douglas, has Liang Chow. Even the all-star U.S. men's basketball team has "drunk as a skunk" Mike Krzyzewski. Without a coach, how will the pastor figure out the little changes needed in Olympic Inspiration #1? As a church planter, this is the thing I miss the most from my days working for a mega-church: working with a coach and a team of other ministry professionals. I do my best to make up for it with other pastor mentors, online pastor friends and local pastor associations. I'd love to hear in the comments below what you are doing to get the coaching you need.

Olympic Inspiration #3: Don't celebrate with hubris. Usain Bolt hurt his own image by his endless bragging of being a "living legend."  Then he disrespected nine-time Olympic gold medalist Carl Lewis : "Lewis, nobody remembers who he is."  There is no question that Bolt is the fastest man alive today just like Carl Lewis was in his day.  There's also no question that in the future there will be somebody else even faster.  One might think that pastors don't need this reminder, but I've met plenty who think they are pretty impressive stuff.  Arrogance and pastoring - well really, arrogance and anything - don't mix well together.

Church Ministry And Servant Entrepreneurs

Sheri and her husband are doing ok for themselves now, but Sheri remembers leaner times. She remembers being hungry as a child. She remembers struggling to feed her own children as a young mother. After hearing a sermon on Christian purpose and Christ's calling, Sheri contacted me about feeding the hungry.  Three months later our church of 40 people took full turkey meals to 100 families in our community.

How does such a little church do such mighty things for Christ? First and foremost is because of the impressive power of God's Spirit moving among His people. Second, and the subject of this article, our church has accomplished great things for Christ because of the freedom granted for our members to serve in unique and entrepreneur ministries.

 

What is an entrepreneur ministry? It's a service project or ongoing ministry that people in our congregation come up with on their own. Servant entrepreneurs consider their own experiences, talents, skills, and connections and then ask God to show them how they might serve Christ. It's service that is planned from the bottom up rather than the top down. 

Making Church A Summer Attraction - Fun, Family, Focus

For most of us summer is for barbeques, for vacation, for getting away from the routine, for family and friends. For most pastors, summers also means church doldrums. Let's face the truth that church attendance usually drops in the summer months.  Our competition is not another church or pastor, but everything else that is going on in the summer months.

This year at Church Requel we decided to go with the flow.  No, we didn't shut down and tell people to come back in the fall.  We did decide to make the most of the summer trend.  We did our best to turn church into a summer attraction.  We did this with fun, family and focus.

We are having fun at Church Requel this summer!  Each weekend we've celebrated something. A birthday. A balloon launch. A baptism. Our only limitation has been our imagination.  We talk about the Sunday night party that happens every week at Church Requel.  People come early and stay late because of the festive atmosphere.

We are enjoying and becoming our own family.  More of us are single than are married.  This wasn't intentional on our part. It just seems to be the way it's worked out.  We like to say that we are a motley crew of misfits. Somehow, though, we've found a place where we all do fit together - in God's family at CR. Each week this summer - after our singing time and before our communion time - we greet one another.  That sounds typical enough, but doesn't begin to describe what happens.  We've been playing the song "Centerfield" by John Fogerty as part of our Summer Singles baseball theme. When the music comes on, people don't just shake hands with someone next to them.  They get out of their seats, into the aisles, and they hug just about everyone they can.  I usually have to stop it after two to three minutes or they would just do it all night.  They have become a family.

We are focused in our teaching.  At the beginning of the summer I explained our summer singles theme.  Each Sunday night we would have a single sermon - not connected with another sermon.  We are not in a summer series of sermons.  I told our congregation: "If you miss one, come back the next weekend.  You won't be behind."  Each sermon has one single big idea, which I give away right at the beginning of the talk.  I give them big ideas focused on encouraging their Christian faith.  I tell them lots of stories - personal stories, Bible stories, their stories.  They listen with amazing focus! Everyone likes a good story.  The stories themselves always tie back in to the big idea: the focused, single theme of the night.

Our summer has not suffered as much of a decline as we have seen in the past. Our morale is better than ever.  As best as we could accomplish, we have turned Church Requel into a summer destination on Sunday nights. We will be going into our back-to-school, back-to-routine in better shape than ever. But I don't think we'll go back to any kind of a routine at church.  Unless that routine happens to include fun, family, and focus!

How This Pastor Transitioned To Working 1 Month Out

Last week I wrote about six reasons pastors should work a month in advance. In the comments, Rodney Holloman asked, "How did you ever go from week to week to a month ahead without cloning?" Great question Rodney! In this post I share four of the ways I've made the transition this summer.

I really wanted it. This idea of working a month out wasn't new to me. I had thought about the advantages of being ahead for the last couple of years. Two months ago I made the commitment that this summer would be the transition quarter. I told my leadership team and those whom would benefit from the decision. In other words, I put myself out on that proverbial limb from which I could not retreat without embarrassment. Also inside of me I was ready for the change. I was tired of the pressures that came from the week to week treadmill. For both my own sense of well being and for my church, I really wanted those six advantages I wrote about last week.

I extended my work week. I decided that if I was going to go from one week out to four weeks out, then I was going to have to work more this summer. Yeah, I know. This isn't exactly rocket science stuff. My summer hours in past years have been more relaxed. Worship attendance in the summer season usually wanes and I admit that in response, my efforts matched the falling church interest of my parishioners. This summer I have worked a solid six days a week, sometimes with 10+ hour days. (Pastors, this is nothing more than what many of our church members have been accustomed to for years!) Here's an interesting plus: our attendance this summer hasn't dropped as much as in the past. Hmmm...

I planned for seclusion. Those hours of alone time, thinking and writing, are golden for a pastor. In seminary I dreamed about what pastoral life would be like, imagining many hours of walking with God and writing down those precious nuggets of truth He shared with me. I discovered that in real-life pastoral ministry, my dream was just that - a dream! My real-life schedule as a small church pastor tended to be more like a couple hours of study time squeezed in between appointments. I would just get going good when I'd have to quit. This summer I have scheduled entire days of seclusion by bunching appointments - as much as possible - on other days. By actually having these seclusion days scheduled in my calendar, I could honestly respond to people wanting to see me that my time was already committed for that particular day. I haven't missed a single opportunity to meet with people. Every person was willing to meet on a different day!

Church for the Nones - Impossible Beauty

Reaching, attracting and retaining people to a new church is a difficult thing to accomplish. In Mansfield, when people are asked what church they attend, more people check "none" than any other choice. Those are the people we at Church Requel are aiming for. We are a church for the "nones." A difficult thing to accomplish becomes a nearly impossible thing to accomplish, if the target audience are people not attending church anywhere else.

Transitioning someone from "unchurched" to "churched" is a slow, sometimes frustrating experience - but when it happens, it's really a beautiful thing! 

We are a church for the unchurched. George Hunter coined the phrase, church for the unchurched, with his book by the same name back in 1996. He described a church returning to its apostolic origins, reaching a mission field in its own back yard. America, Hunter pointed out, had become one of the greatest mission fields in the world. Rather than being a country sending out Christian missionaries to other nations, the U.S. was a country in need of missionaries.

In the two decades since Hunter described the unchurched, unchurched people have changed. Twenty years ago an unchurched person in America had a memory of church and, when tough times came into their lives, they often became spiritual seekers looking to the church for answers. Today most unchurched people don't even have a memory of the church having answers. They have been disconnected from the church so long that it doesn't even occur to them to seek out the church or its teachings.

Ed Stetzer, who writes often about these trends, puts it this way:

Churches that once targeted seekers are finding that portions of subsequent generations do not have any religious memory at all--and it is harder to appeal to their seeking. They are the "Nones" - those who, when asked about religious affiliation, check "none." In a post-seeker context, churches will have to create new models to lead their people to engage their neighbors who might not find appealing an invitation to church.

This coming Sunday Church Requel will be baptizing 3 adults, who one year ago would have checked the "none" category. All three have a distant memory of the church from their childhood. As adults, for many reasons, they joined the majority of people not attending church anywhere.

4 Guidelines To Great Children's Sermons

A mom to came up to me at the end of a recent Church Requel service: "I wasn't going to come tonight. I worked all day and I was tired. I came home and I just wanted to crash. But Anna would have none of it. 'Mom, I want to go to church!'"

Church Requel is a small church. Typically we have less than 60 people attend our Sunday evening services. Yet our fastest growing demographic are children under the age of 10. Why? Because we make our services child friendly.

This year we have added children's sermons to our services. We invite the elementary-aged children to come up front with me. Usually I will sit on the platform and have them sit around me. These talks typically last 7 to 10 minutes. What is it about these short talks that make a child ASK to come to church? Here are 4 guidelines that can help you create great children's sermons.

Guideline #1: Use Object Lessons. I usually have a small table up front that contains an object lesson for the kids. It is always covered up, creating a curiosity factor. The kids can't wait to see what is under the tablecloth. Every sermon includes something different. When talking about living a fruitful life, I showed them two dishes - one with really rotten bananas and one with fresh bananas. 'What kind of life do you want to offer God?' I asked. When talking about God's help in life we set up bowling pins of plastic liter bottles. When we try to do things on our own without God's help, we bowled with a ping pong ball. With God's help we bowled - much more successfully - with a basketball. The key is to be creative and imaginative. Kids love seeing how things work and they have a much greater imagination than adults. Have fun here. Be a kid yourself!

Guideline #2: Focus your entire attention on the children. Usually - at first - the kids are nervous about being in front of everyone else. Look them in the eyes. Tell them that this is their special time with the pastor. Everyone else can listen in, but this is THEIR time. Ask questions. Listen to their answers. Respond. Don't be locked in to a script. Have a general plan, but be willing to adjust on the fly. Kids really do say the darndest things. They will ask the questions everyone wants to know! Enjoy this conversation with the kids.

Guideline #3: Never forget your adult audience. While your attention is entirely focused on the children, know that the adults in the audience will be hanging on your every word. Pastor, you work hard on every adult sermon and dream of the adults tuning in to your every word. After a few years you begin to realize this will probably never be as true as you wish it to be. Until it comes to delivering kids' sermons! Suddenly adults are craning their necks, leaning forward, entirely focused! Why? Because of the kids. Because of the 'Who knows what will happen?' uncertainty. Because of the fun. Bottom line: the children's sermon may be your best chance to connect with your adult audience.

Guideline #4: Be simple but not surface. Because your attention will be focused on the children, your teaching must also be at a child's level. Simple should be your motto. One main message. Or one main Bible verse. Or one main challenge. However this doesn't mean the children's sermon has to be surface only. In fact, if you dialog with the kids you'll discover they often are wondering about some of life's deepest questions. Don't be afraid to admit that you haven't got it all figured out yourself.  Keep your children's sermon simple, but don't be afraid to go deep!

If you are the pastor of a small church like I am, you probably wish you had some of the advantages of a larger church. But the children's sermon is one ace you possess that your large-church pastor friends can only dream about. While you are small, you have the size and flexibility to invite all the kids up front. This gives you the chance to know all the kids - and their parents - so much better than you ever would otherwise.

I love the time I spend with our CR kids during the children's sermons. How about you? What are you doing to connect with the kids - and their parents - in your congregation? Leave me a comment below. I'd love to hear your ideas!

Courage For The Small Church Pastor

This week I'm preparing a talk for my congregation from the great text found in Joshua 1:9. "Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."  As so often happens God is allowing me to learn these great truths of His Word through the pages of my life as each day turns anew.

I know that this divine encouragement was given to the great army general, Joshua. Especially as we honor our veterans this week I am reminded of the courage of each of our men and women who have served their country despite their fears.  However, on this day, God is reminding me of the courage necessary for church planters and small group pastors.

I remember those intense days of three years ago on Thanksgiving 2008, when Church Requel was given its first breath of life.  Because of the horrible local economy, I lost my middle management position as an executive pastor of a megachurch.  I remember thinking - as my father had taught me repeatedly - that this setback was not the problem it appeared to be, but rather an opportunity to do something new and something different.  Rather than look for another pastoral position with an existing church, we would start a new church with a few friends and see how God would bless it.

Currently I'm reading The Strategically Small Church by Brandon J. O'Brien.  I have so identified with O'Brien's first chapter where he talks about reimagining ministry success.  He writes about the ministry career arc many of us expect to experience.

At some point in your life you sense a clear call from God to enter the ministry.  It makes a better story if this happens after years of success in a lucrative secular career or a period of profound and sinful rebellion.  After a time of preparation - whether in seminary or through a careful perusal of church planting materials - you take a position in a small church. Over the next several years, your ministry grows. You see people reconcile with God, lives are changed, and you feel confident you are squarely within God's will.  You've found your calling. Either your church plant grows rapidly or you move from church to church - usually (and fortunately) to increasingly larger, more vibrant congregations.  Soon your peers recognize your success and a publisher asks you to write a book about your story.  You share it at conferences.  You have arrived.

I'm embarrassed to admit it - but these words struck home with me.  Even the part about changing from a lucrative secular career in my life's first half described me perfectly.  Three years ago - coming from a large church management experience - I expected that by now we'd be about halfway through that paragraph.  Yet, no publisher has called to ask me to write about our story.  And the only conferences that call are the ones who want me to pay to attend so I can hear other pastors' success stories.

Celebrating Smallness

The average size church in America, I'm told, is 75 people.  When I served as a teaching pastor in a large, mega-church I remember wondering how a church could remain less than a hundred people for long.  Now that I've been a church planter for almost 3 years, God has greatly tempered my previous ignorance. If the average size is 75, then it only makes sense that many churches attract fewer than 75.

We had 61 people at Church Requel two weeks ago and we were thrilled! Ironically it was a weekend when Mary Kay and I weren't even there.  We received emails and text messages from many parishioners celebrating the evening.  It felt good.

We're the size church that has to look up to see "average."  With that mindset it's easy to fall into a sense of inadequacy.  We live in a world of "super" things: Super Bowl, supermarket, and megachurch. In such a super atmosphere, where BIG is celebrated, where large numbers equals success, it's easy to suffer from low esteem.

Thanks to the foresight of our leadership team, I'm back to my seminary studies at Ashland Theological Seminary.  Interestingly, the best class available to me this quarter is "Smaller Churches: Challenges & Opportunities."  Wow!  Talk about a class designed just for me.  Small. Challenge. Opportunity.  This class speaks my language!

Clinton Celebs: How Not To Run A Meeting

This morning I watched the video below in The Daily.  I immediately tweeted that if anyone has ever run a meeting, they should view this video.  President Clinton and his foundation have come up with this genius idea to create something funny so people would learn about the Clinton Foundation.  This morning I'd like to consider this as a teaching moment of how NOT to run a meeting.  Watch, laugh then read.

 

6 Ways NOT to Run a Meeting:

1.  Substitute "brainstorming" for "agenda."  Brainstorming can be great... assuming everyone is on the same page.  Here there are multiple agendas going on.  If you're a leader, start planning your agenda for the meeting long before the meeting takes place.  Think it through.  Write it down.  Review it before the meeting starts with everyone in the room.  Make sure everyone is on the same agenda.

2. Look for a group of winners rather than a winning group.  Here we have a room filled with comedic geniuses. (Which is why the video idea for the Clinton Foundation is such a genius idea.) However I have discovered that often people can be really great on their own doing their own thing, and yet be complete duds in a meeting.  A group of people does not equal team.

3.  Long Meetings Equal Productivity.  Ben Stiller begins the video with this statement: "It's been two hours and we still don't have anything."  If you don't have anthing after two hours, it's pretty clear you're not going to have anything in hours 3, 4 or 5.  Actually I'd say 30 minutes is about tops.

4.  Allow Surprises to Derail Purpose.  Sean Penn has his own surprise: "Stop stealing my sandwiches." This has nothing to do with the agenda.  Oh wait... there's no agenda.  Go back and read #1.

5. Forget Your Mission Under Guise of Camaraderie.  Matt Damon observes that team spirit (morale, camaraderie, community - pick any of the above) is down so they should start a softball team. Camaraderie is built when all are working well toward a common purpose. Starting something off-mission for the purpose of building team spirit is the surest way to kill team spirit.

6. Let Group Enthusiasm Replace Your Better Judgment.  Kevin Spacey calls in pretending to be President Clinton and tells the group how wonderful their ideas are.  Everyone is relieved and surprised.  Why? Because the ideas stink.  And everyone in the room - in their heart - knows it. However the elation of the group overwhelms better judgment.  Sometimes you need to listen to your own better judgment.

Motivation of the Pastor Part 4: Accountability

Accountability may sound like negative motivation to some people.  Better get it done or else! I'd like to suggest another way, a more positive way, to make accountability work for you.  This will be especially helpful if you are the pastor of a small church, like me, or if you are self-employed.

First a little background.  Before I became the pastor of a very small church I worked as the executive pastor of a very large one.  When I left my former church, we had 22 employees who reported directly or indirectly to me.  The reason I tell you this is that I have seen both sides of the accountability equation.  I've experienced it in a large church setting and small church setting.  I've experienced it as employer, employee, and as self-employed.  Now that I've been out on my own for 3 years I can affirm the importance of accountability for the small church pastor.

My motivation in ministry is directly impacted by the group of people with whom I choose to surround myself.

Notice the above sentence is in italics and sitting there all by itself.  That's meant to be a visual clue! Go back and read it again.  It's important!

Ministry - and I believe any work - was never meant to be accomplished in isolation.  Sure, there are some things that can only be accomplished by yourself.  Writing sermons, for example, is a lonely business.  Every week starts the same - me sitting by myself in front of a blank computer screen wondering, What now?  

I have learned, though, that my entire week doesn't have to be spent working alone - even if I'm the only church employee.  Even those tasks that are best done in isolation can be improved with a little outside influence.  Here are some of the things I've done to bring helpful and motivating accountability to my work:

1st - Design a board of directors that's a whole lot more than simply a monthly business board meeting. Find people you like... (and this helps) people who like you.  I'm fortunate to have four other leaders who meet with me at least once a month for business and one more time each month for pleasure.  This Saturday my leadership team and I are gathering at a local state park for a picnic and campfire.  There is no business agenda.  We're gathering because we love one another.  We're gathering for fun!  That's motivational!

2nd - Find a group of pastors in your local area and meet with them.  This has become one of the best things to happen to me in the last 3 years.  We have a group of pastors who make it a priority to get together once a month to share burdens, advice and to motivate!  I've had the honor of helping a pastor, much senior to me, when he faced preaching a funeral for a suicidal death.  I've met other church planters through this association and we've met over breakfasts and even done some pulpit fills for one another.

3rd - Set up individual mentoring meetings.  I've done it both ways.  I've asked for other pastors to be my mentor.  I am currently working as a mentor with a man in my congregation.  Here's the key - loving accountability happens for me regardless of which role I'm officially playing.  I think ahead of time to what we will talk about, about my week, about his week and about what I can do to motivate.  The crazy thing is that I've never motivated anyone else without at the same time motivating myself.

Pastor Rick Warren recently posted this about motivation over at Pastors.com:

"Motivation is contagious. I never try to motivate other people. I focus on motivating myself. When I’m motivated, I know others will catch my enthusiasm."

Motivating ourselves is the best way to motivate others.  So true!  Rick didn't say it, but I've found the opposite to be true as well.  I can demotivate others by my own stinkin' thinkin'.  Knowing that I am surrounded by encouraging and motivating people helps me also to be encouraging and motivating to others.  ...And it helps me be motivating to me!

• Read Part 1: Positive Feedback
• Read Part 2: Subscribed Encouragement
• Read Part 3: Called For A Purpose

Motivation of the Pastor Part 3: Called for a Purpose

I enjoy laughing at the poster on the right. It takes a pretty cynical view about motivation. "If you can be motivated by a pretty picture and a few clever words, the world would probably be a safer place if you weren't motivated."  Ha!

Funny, but not entirely accurate.  The truth is that we all need to be motivated from time to time. Here's a lesson I learned about motivation a long time ago from Zig Ziglar. People say I don't need to be motivated every day. That's true.  But then I don't NEED a bath every day either. I still take one!  Amen!

Over the last couple of days I've addressed two ways I am motivated. #1 - I'm motivated by the encouraging feedback of other people.  #2 - I'm motivated by subscribed encouragement.  Today I'd like to talk about a third motivation that is much deeper. This is a motivation that comes from within when I receive no encouragement from anyone else externally. I'm talking about the motivation that comes from being called for a purpose, in my case the purpose of being a teaching pastor.

The Bible has a really interesting take on my purpose and, indirectly, on my motivation.  

“It’s in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone.”  Ephesians 1:11 MSG

There are at least three insights we can draw from this verse.  First - I discover my identity, purpose, and motivation through Christ!  You may expect to hear this from me. After all, I'm a pastor.  I can tell you truthfully, however, that even as a pastor I must work at keeping this in the forefront of my mind. The same is true for you - regardless of whether you are a pastor or find your purpose in some other line of work.  My purpose, my reason for being, comes from Christ.  I not only find my purpose from my call in the beginning of my career, but I also find my motivation for excelling each day from my communion with Christ!  There is no encouragement from anyone else that can compare!

Second - and this is mind blowing for me - God planned my purpose before I existed and did it without any input from me!  I may spend time and effort and reflection searching for my purpose and for the source of my motivation.  When I find it I'll discover that it was only me finding it.  God never had any doubt.  He knows my purpose.  He knows my purpose will motivate me. And He knows fulfilling my purpose will result in a glorious and rewarding life.

Third - the purpose of my life fits into His own glorious plans and purpose.  My role is a small one. However, God designed this role for me and me for it.  He is counting on me doing it.  And other people are counting on me doing my job and fulfilling my purpose.  What I do matters.

It's easy to think that because I lead a small church that my role is a small one.  It's a trap to think that my job doesn't matter one way or the other.  This is false.  If I let it seep into my thinking, though, it could seriously DE-motivate me and keep me from doing even a small job as well as I might otherwise.

My motivation comes from my root belief that God designed me for a specific purpose.  In my case I know I was called to preach His Word, to pastor His church, and to lead others in the Christian walk. What could be more motivating than to recognize the calling and purpose of the Almighty Creator God in one's life?

Motivation of the Pastor Part 2: Subscribed Encouragement

Everyone needs motivation.  When it comes to work, those who are self-employed may need more than others. This is especially true when there are no other employees or partners working alongside.  As this picture humorously says: "Some people need more [motivation] than others."

I may not have a shark chasing me, but every day offers the choice to accomplish much or wait until tomorrow.  How does the pastor stay motivated to give each day his best?  One motivating factor for me is the encouragement that I receive from my parishioners.

I'm wired for positive feedback.  Everyone has their unique love language.  Mine is words of affirmation.  In his New York Times bestselling book, The 5 Love Languages, Dr. Gary Smalley describes my love language this way:

Words of Affirmation:  Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

Pastors, like me, who are wired with the "words of affirmation" love language, are vulnerable to demotivation when either they don't receive positive feedback or they are criticized.  At least I admit it. I can be pathetic in my solicitation of affirmation.  Here is a dialog that has played out multiple times with my good wife, Mary Kay.

Me: What did you think of the sermon?

Mary Kay: I liked it.

Me. [with frustration] What did you like about it?

It's not enough that she like it.  I want her to tell me what she liked about it.  With specifics.  Detailed adjectives.  Replayed quotes would be good too.  

Knowing this is a weakness of mine, how do I prepare for those inevitable weeks when I hear nothing from anybody about my work?  One answer is subscribed encouragement.  Very deliberately I subscribe to several emails that have historically provided the gumption I need to get moving.  It's not the same as positive feeback, but subscribed encouragement usually works.  Here are a couple examples.

SermonCentral.com sends me an email almost every morning around 6am.  This is a great website dedicated to the special needs of the pastor.  I could just subscribe to the RSS feed, but I love getting their email in the morning.  Here are a few of the articles they have sent me over the last week: (1) James MacDonald's "5 Things We Do Instead of Preach the Word"; (2) "The Best Way To Avoid Ministry Burnout" by Eric Bryant;  (3) "Remembering 9/11: What Pastors Should and Shouldn't Do" by Brian Orme.  When I read one of these articles, I'm reminded that many other pastors have been right where I'm at.  I remember that I'm not alone and that I'm one of many pastors who need to find the motivation to give each day my best.

Pastors Toolbox is a weekly email that comes from Pastor Rick Warren.  Each email features an article from Rick, but also has loads of helpful - and motivational - tips from other pastors as well.  The most recent edition provides enough encouragement to last a week, or even two.  Here are a few samples: (1) "9 Ways to Stay Motivated For Ministry" by Rick Warren; (2) "The Passion of a Christian" by Matt Redman; (3) "Are You His Disciple?" by Greg Laurie.  Whenever I read one of these great articles, I think to myself that each of these writers have at one time or another been right where I am.  Yes, God has blessed their work.  However, it did require work.

Subscribed encouragement is a way to subsitute positive personal feedback.  It works for me.  The discipline of reading other people's encouraging stories keeps me pumped up.  What about you?  Is this something that could help?  Stayed tuned.  More motivational hints coming up in the days ahead.